Realization

I have come to realize in my quest to keep my new years resolution that i am finding out more and more about myself. I have figured out that the part i miss most about being in a relationship is the having someone to sleep with. Not even in just the sexual part but in the having another warm blooded human in your bed. Its very comforting. Its my favorite thing about relationships is that you don't have to sleep alone. Its like a safe comfortable satisfied peaceful feeling, knowing that i am just inches away from someone that i care about. Someone that loves me for me. Someone who is there not only because they love me but because i love them. I don't really feel the need to go on and on about this. So in conclusion, my favorite part about relationships is not having to sleep alone. And its nights like these nights where i miss you so bad.

More Detail

So I want to just list somethings that i want to involve in my new serenity routine.

1. read comics
2. make something delicious to eat/drink [you can't force it]
3. do yoga
4. [sub category. meditation. thinking and finding inner peace go along with this one]
5. do something to make the world a better place
6. shower, don't do you hair, and only put the bare minimum of make up on,
7. make it my goal to spend the whole day trying not to say negative things about myself or others

So thats about it... nothing to strict though the most important rule about my serenity routine is i need to do what my heart desires above all else.

Good times for serenity routine to happen

• sunday morning
• thursday night
• anytime I feel stressed or out of whack
• before sleep in general is cool if I don't have anything to do the next day

I am going to try and do serenity routine tomorrow after i get my books and clean my room... I will have to get up and get shit done if that is going to happen. because I really want to spend my day chilling by myself in my own thoughts and I don't know when brittany will be back and I don't really want to do yoga in front of her. Oh shit I just realized something... We don't get a news paper............ this is horrid news............... i dont know what to do right now.......... i have a plan, we'll see if it works but i really got to get on it cause i can't waste anymore time!!

Comics and Yoga

i want to make a tradition that my sunday mornings should be devoted to the comics and to yoga. it will be the best sunday morning ever, peanut butter and jelly... sounds delicious.

New Years So Far

I am sitting on my couch eating hummus and veggies and turkey watching the bible network on television. I am ready for this new year. I have wiped my slate clean. Detached from all my annoying bad influences of guys. I have a new outlook on life right now. Make myself happy first. I know it sounds selfish but its really what I need to do. I always focus on making sure other people are happy first I end up forgetting my own needs and I end up screwing myself. I am not going to put my needs aside just to please someone else. I just get so upset when I realize that all my people pleasing hasn't gotten me anywhere but hurt. I will do anything for my friends and I still will, but they deserve it. Its the random people that I try and please so that they will like me. Guys and girls alike. I just can't keep doing this to myself because right now I pretty much hate all boys and really its only because I have trusted and put a lot of effort into pleasing them and all they want is to get lucky, and its not really fair for me to think that. But no matter what I do it seems like all I can think about is how upset I am and how much I just want to go back in time and re-do things, which is no way to live. So from now on I am going to have a smile on my face and a fuck you attitude cause from this day on I am living for myself.