Thoughts from Samantha

I catch my self wondering about the subject a lot. I feel that we are all here for a reason. I don't believe life is something to be taken advantage of. And I constantly find myself back at the same old question. What's the point of religion. I was raised in a totally christian background. We went to church every sunday morning, and if for some reason we didn't we would read children's books about jesus and gods miracles. Church was just a part of life. but what church represented was not a part of life. What most people view as religion or spirituality is really just people create to make a common habit out of a group of people. Church is a performance and we have begun to replace god with how good our performances are. I think people need to get a reality check and back up an look at "religion" as a more whole view. Todays most popular religions, or at least all the ones I have looked at, all share the most basic points. These points being; Be nice to one another, Do good not evil, Don't do anything that is going to cause more harm than good in the long run, and Keep yourself responsible of yourself.(Be who you are). So because I keep getting distracted I am going to try and keep this last part short. since all religions share common points, all religions are basically the same, with only cultural differences, therefore the specific head honcho is really not all that important in the scheme of things. Which makes the cultural differences the reason that in different locations different head honchos are chosen. Depending on the background and culture of where the most common religions were first established is what the head honcho is going to be. That areas best guess at what perfect would be. So is there nesceacily a god, maybe not but there is a sense of spirit or knowledge or  whole well being-ness or a more abstract sense of what peace/perfectness should be. it has adapted into religion to make us more likely to listen and think and make choices dependent upon its own thoughts.

Okay I am done writting. I am tired and Anna wants to check her facebook. So I dont really know how to do a good bye that represents me with out seeming gaudy and fake. So I am just going to say bye. So bye.

fireworks and dreams.

Comparing a relationship or feelings about someone to fireworks, is, in my opinion, not very good. Think about it. Fireworks don't last. I mean the anticipation is awesome, then they take off and you wonder just how its going to turn out, then boom big explosion lots of colors, sure its awesome and magical but it lasts for only a second and then its gone and nothing is left, except sometimes smelly smoke and burnt little pieces. I was watching a fireworks show to day and it was amazing but this was all I could think about during it. 

Okay so I had a horribly stressful dream last night. So I was in my third semester at UTC and I had been attending classes for a while. Basically my dream was just like normal life in college. I saw the same people and went to the same places. That is until I realized that I had forgotten to attend my 8 am morning classes for the first three weeks of school. I just completely forgot. So I tried to drop them but it turned out that I couldn't drop anymore classes, so my only choice was to start going and try and pick up where everyone else was. but it just happened to be the days I started going were on test days. It was horrible. I woke up really stressed out and upset. but then I realized its only summer and felt a million times better!

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Day 2

Alright so I haven't been updating my blog. Oops. Its actually because I have been writing in a journal. I have decided to write something every day for 100 days. I don't really know why but I am going to do it. Today is day 2.. so far so good.

So I am going to be a skate boarder. Well not really but I am getting a skateboard and I am going to learn to ride it, and its going to be amazing. I am designing one right now with help of my special friend Joe. I have a couple of guys lined up to help teach me as well. I also want to play more guitar this summer. Once I am home and have access to one. I think that is what I am going to ask for for my birthday from the parental units. School is going well right now. A little stressed but I am more not looking forward to leaving all my friends for the summer. Its going to suck really bad.. we are all saying that we are going to hang out and meet up over the summer but I am pretty sure thats not going to happen. But never fear we are all living across from each other next year so we will be reunited!! I am so happy with the friends I have made this year. People say the friends you make in college are your friends for life, and if thats true then I will be a happy camper. We all go together like peanut butter and jelly. 

stuff i need to do

write a letter

make 2 greek show adds

design skateboard

sleeeep

give myself a pedicure.. long needed

I think thats about it for now. The UTC garbage truck has just made its pick up right outside my window like always. Why in the world would they decided to have the loudest dumpster dumping truck pick up time to be at 2 am.. I have no idea, but every night it never fails to wake me up. Although I already am up... oh well. Thats about all I have to say. I am being ADHD so peace and love homes!!

spring break

spring break was so epic. It was probably the best spring break i have ever had in my whole life. I was with friends the whole time, and we made so many memories. Me Snelly and Britt drove down at 130 am and arrived in panama city beach at about 8 where we got some mcdonalds. We were starving. Then at about 9 we got to the house that the phi delt guys had gotten. We then proceeded to live out the next couple of days on the beach with beer and friends and memories and forgetting memories. and having a good time. like we said, spring break only happens once a year. and this year we lived it up.. we lived it up good

1. Get on my level

2. pro

3.golden

4. beard man

5. scooter bob

6. o of i

7. dont be that girl.

8. so much sand

9. you know it was a good night when you wake up in your bed with your pajamas on.

10. wheres my lighter, pocket, thanks

11. hey brian dont puke

there is so many more but i cant think of them all cause i am so tired i just want to sleep the rest of my life away.

goodnight and good luck!!

basics

"Peace comes from within, do not seek it without it."

1. God created all things seen and unseen- he made a path for each one of us and it is our job to choose the right way to go on the path and make the correct decisions to get us to the spot that god wants us to get.

we are in charge of getting to the end of the maze of life, god just helps us out a little by moving paths around and making bridges for us to cross to get back on the right path.

2. Jesus is the son of God and is one with God- God gave us jesus to show us the correct way to get to the end of your personal journey, he was like a key example. Jesus showed us the perfect way to do what God wants us to do. if we follow what jesus did to the best of our ability we will get right where God intended us to be. 

3. The greatest commandment is this- Love the lord your god with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself- everything you do should be based of loving the lord with everything you have, and to go out of your way to make the people around you happy.

4. God has given us all a path, once you reach the end of your path you can find nirvana or enlightenment or heaven or peace. everyones path is different some are shorter some are longer. One persons reason for being is to be involved in a situation that effects someone else. that is why it is so important to try and help everyone as much as you can. Another persons might take his whole life because his task he must compete cant be finished until something towards the end of their life occurs. Once you finish your path you die. A person who dies in old age has had to either wait until the end of their life to be able to finish their task or just never got it quite right and god kept helping them out until he got to the end point. Or when people ask why did a baby have to die, well god put it on this earth to influence someone or impact a decision that was made. So its all good because even though the baby didn't get to live out its human life its okay because now the baby is in nirvana or enlightenment or heaven or has found eternal peace.

5. life is suffering: suffering occurs because of attachment to worldly things: freedom from attachment is the only cure for suffering- we can only be set free when we are no longer in control of the things we surround ourselves in. We must give up the fight of trying to do it with our power and use gods power and ask for his help. only then can we truly be free and understanding.

6. Meditation is for awareness- meditation makes us aware of our surroundings. Unlike what people think, meditation is not removing oneself from the world as we see it, it is the absorption of the world that surrounds us, a super keen awareness of what surrounds you. 

7. Life should be about friendship, fellowship, being all that you can be, following your heart, doing what you do not because you are forced to but because you want to, making decisions based on others before yourself, and remembering your not in complete control.

8. sin- inflicting harm, whether it be mental physical or emotion, on someone else out of spite or having the intention to hurt someone. This is what sin is. If it makes you give up any part of the greatest commandment(love your god with all your heart soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself) then it is sin and should be stopped.

"Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it." -buddha

Philosophal the waffle thoughts of the day...

Brittany claims: if you have aids, and have sex with some one with aids you get aids squared and if you have aids squared and have sex with someone who has aids cubed you get aids to the aids to the fifth. and if you have herpes and have sex with someone who has the clap, it cancels each other out, and your cured. but if you do it more than once then you get re contaminated. 

Alex claims: im not an alchoholic. 

Nick: think about it, two llamas in the snow... think about it whats the significance... two white llamas in the snow.. yes they blend in but think harder, look past the invisible white llamas in the white snow...

I am super girl. so F that lady she can eat my poo. yes I want to get a 4.0, and yes I want to be pretty, and yes I want to have a social life, and YES I love ugg boots, northfaces, scarves, and headbands. I can have it all and I want it all. There is NOTHING wrong with that. your just jealous. <3

Soap Opera of my LIFE

Trying to stay positive right now. Its been such a long week. I feel like I'm loosing control. I literally will have nothing going on for a week or two and then all of a sudden I am loaded down and I have absolutely no time. Anyways this is why my life is sucking right now...

1. I have a HUGE paper due friday and its really hard, and I have no time to do it

2. I have hurty spots on my hands and knees bc of dry skin

3. I have a todo list that reaches the floor

4. My Bff and my Ex of maybe 2 weeks are currently spending the night in my apartment... as we speak...

5. I have to go to a physical therapy meeting tomorrow that i really dont want to go to

6. I have greek show practice forever

7. Im a little sun burned from the tanning bed...

8. I missed gossip girl on monday

9. OHHH i cant believe i almost forgot this one, my phone is broken. the connection is shut off. i can manually turn it on and it will stay on for about 45 seconds if im lucky.. then it turns off again

10. waited for 3 hours at the verizon store today only to have the lady hand me a card and say call this number and talk to this person, we cant help you here sorry

11. went to starbucks to get an iced juice tea... the barista dude was being really nice and i competely didnt even realize he gave me the wrong drink, and it was hot, not even cold... so disappointing.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

12. boy who told my roommate he liked her after asking me to his formal, told me he actually liked me more and that she was just a second choice, we decide to try things out, i say i dont want to hurt friendships(its complicated) and the next day he goes back to my roommate and tells her he is willing to do anything for her and that he loves her. WTF seriously? no. can we say desperate.

Tonight's the Night

Katy Perry: Thinking of You

You said move on, where do I go? I guess second best is all I will know. Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you. Thinking of you. What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night. Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes. You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter. Like a hard candy with a surprise center. How do I get better once I've had the best. You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test.

Story Line One: what seems to be obvious...

Girl and Boy in love. Boy decides girl isn't good enough for him. He tells her to move on and tries to make her believe that he is doing her a favor. She is still in love with him, but she tries to move on and starts seeing other people. However no one is as good to her as he was. She feels guilty.

Story Line Two: digging deeper...

Girl and Boy in love. Boy has an obligation he can't break and knows will hurt girl. He loves her too much to hurt her so he lets her go and honestly thinks he is doing her a favor. He goes on to complete his obligation but with out her by his side he can never be whole. He doesn't know what she is thinking and feeling. Slowly his spirit dies- he does nothing- he thinks it is for the best. She however doesn't think that. She loves him enough to go anywhere with him and doesn't know why he didn't understand. She tries to move on but can't because he was her true soul mate and nothing is ever going to add up. She never can completely move on and so her spirit dies, along with his.

Lots of times what you see on the outside isn't what you see on the inside. People have histories and everything they do is for a reason. People should slow down and try and figure out what makes people do what they do. Before they judge they try their best to understand and comprehend. This would save so many un-needed conflicts.

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path."-Buddha

Fire Alarms

I just want to express my hatred of fire alarms. Let me give you a quick synopses of my night. First went and saw Confessions of a Shopaholic. We were supposed to be in theater 1, we opened the door and there was absolutely no light coming out. Hell no we weren't going to go in there. We went and got the movie cleaner guys to fix the issue but the issue never got resolved, finally a bunch of us folks waiting outside decided to brave the darkness. The movie was great, came back to the dorm and me and my friend mike had a little heart to heart. We talked about friends and what the meaning of friendship is, I think we both learned something. Then I went over to my friend Joe's apartment, its 4 am now btw. He was playing Call of duty- like always. and we were just chilling on the couch. Finally we decided to go to sleep and not 3 min after me laying down, THE FIRE ALARM STARTS. seriously? so we all run outside, I forgot shoes and a jacket, and it just happened to be about 23 degrees outside. Just my luck, just my luck. So now it is 630 am and I am finally going to sleep. :)

The First of Many

Britney Spears: Toxic

So this is my first blog. I hope there are going to be many more. Tonight were doing a girls night, I'm getting ready as we speak. We are going to dinner and a movie. I believe we are seeing Confessions of a Shopaholic, hopefully I can learn some tips. I think it should be a requirement for there to be a girls night every month. There is just too much drama when boys are involved. 

Last night was fun, I didn't go to bed until 7:30... am. But its all okay because I didn't wake up until 2:30, so I got about 7 hours of sleep which is damn good for a college girl! I woke up and went and watched the guys play some video games, then I made mac and cheese, my staple food. I didn't cook it all the way though so it was crunchy. Then I did laundry - yes, be shocked, 5 loads later I'm finally done. I took a shower since I smelled like cigarettes and beer from the night before, and now currently I am getting ready for my night to start. I love weekends. 

"He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind." -Buddah