New Years So Far

I am sitting on my couch eating hummus and veggies and turkey watching the bible network on television. I am ready for this new year. I have wiped my slate clean. Detached from all my annoying bad influences of guys. I have a new outlook on life right now. Make myself happy first. I know it sounds selfish but its really what I need to do. I always focus on making sure other people are happy first I end up forgetting my own needs and I end up screwing myself. I am not going to put my needs aside just to please someone else. I just get so upset when I realize that all my people pleasing hasn't gotten me anywhere but hurt. I will do anything for my friends and I still will, but they deserve it. Its the random people that I try and please so that they will like me. Guys and girls alike. I just can't keep doing this to myself because right now I pretty much hate all boys and really its only because I have trusted and put a lot of effort into pleasing them and all they want is to get lucky, and its not really fair for me to think that. But no matter what I do it seems like all I can think about is how upset I am and how much I just want to go back in time and re-do things, which is no way to live. So from now on I am going to have a smile on my face and a fuck you attitude cause from this day on I am living for myself.